If you’ve just found out you’re pregnant, you may be feeling a full range of emotions. Scared, excited, shocked, nervous, angry, hopeful…
And you might be worried about breaking the news to your partner. How will he react? Will he want to proceed with the pregnancy or consider another option?
A common fear in an unplanned pregnancy is that your partner will break up with you if you choose to continue with the pregnancy.
Relationships are such an important part of life. In a healthy relationship, you can find companionship, support, financial security and stability. We often build our future hopes and dreams around the people we share our lives with, so the idea of breaking up can feel terrifying.
Imagining life without your partner by your side can stir up a lot of intense emotions. If you’re feeling this way, it’s important to reach out to somebody, especially if these feelings become overwhelming.
If you are being asked to choose between your partner and your pregnancy, this can be especially upsetting. Please remember that nobody can force you to make a particular choice. Deciding how to proceed with pregnancy is very personal. It’s a decision that can only be made once you have all the information about your options. It’s important that you feel comfortable about your choice, not pressured or rushed into it.
While we can’t predict what will happen in your relationship, here are some questions to consider if you’re worried your relationship might end:
How does he feel about becoming a dad?
The idea of being a father can raise a lot of emotions, especially if he had a challenging childhood or relationship issues with his own parents. He may feel concerned that he can’t provide financially for a family, or worried about how this might change your relationship or lifestyle.
Is he willing to have counselling?
If he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about becoming a dad, there are counsellors who can help him work through this. You could consider seeing a counsellor together, or he might prefer to see somebody one-on-one.
Will he want to co-parent if the relationship doesn’t work out?
This is an important thing to discuss because it will affect all of you. What will co-parenting look like? Will you need financial support? Does he want to be involved?
Pregnancy can be a big surprise for both you and your partner. Many reluctant fathers have gone on to become excellent dads once they’ve had time to process their concerns. Getting the right support can make all the difference. At Diamond Women’s support, our free counselling will provide a space for your partner to share his thoughts and feelings about your pregnancy and the future.
My Relationship is Over – Now What?
If your relationship has ended, this might feel like a crushing blow. It can seem as if the air has been knocked out of you as you struggle to come to terms with your new reality.
Losing somebody you love is never easy, and grief is a natural part of letting go.
Pregnancy hormones can also make you feel like you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster – okay one minute, sobbing the next. There are 5 common stages in grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Emotional ups and downs after a breakup are completely normal. But you don’t have to go through this loss alone. Reach out to friends or family who will let you feel whatever you’re feeling without judging you.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and let those big feelings pass. Grief is a process and takes time. Be gentle with yourself and try not to blame yourself for the way things have turned out.
Where to Find Support
If your relationship has ended and you have decided to proceed with your pregnancy, it’s important that you find the help you’re going to need as a single parent. At Diamond Women’s Support, our goal is to connect you with whatever support you need to be a happy, healthy woman and mother. Some of the ways we help include:
1. Accessing financial assistance
2. Finding childcare support
3. Baby and maternity goods
4. Free Counselling
5. Mum & Baby group
If you’re uncertain whether to proceed with your pregnancy after the loss of your relationship, our counsellors are here for you. Their role is to give you a safe space to find the information you need, talk through your thoughts and feelings and provide emotional support to make the decision that’s best for you without any judgement or pressure.
Discovering you’re pregnant can be quite a shock for both you and your partner if your pregnancy was unplanned. One of the biggest fears might be that your boyfriend/partner will break up with you if you continue with your pregnancy. Perhaps he’s said in the past that pregnancy is a deal breaker, or that he just doesn’t want to have children.
The idea of becoming a dad might be overwhelming to your boyfriend/partner for many reasons. At Diamond Women’s Support, we can provide free counselling for men who need somebody listen to their thoughts about the pregnancy.
If your relationship has ended, we understand how emotionally upsetting this can be and want you to know that you don’t have to walk this road alone. Along with free counselling, we can help you access any emotional and practical resources you’ll need to make the best decision for you while feeling supported every step of the way. Contact us to book an appointment with our support team today.