Casey walked into our office trying, but failing, to hold back her tears. Her five-year relationship was over. Just like that. She thought she’d be with him forever. She thought he loved her. But then she got the pregnancy test results. She hadn’t planned for this. Hadn’t meant for it to happen. Her hand settled gently on her abdomen. She’d gained someone but lost someone. The cocktail of emotions whirling around inside of her was almost too much. As soon as Casey saw the warm smile and felt the safety of her counsellor’s company, she let the tears fall. Finally, she thought, I’m not alone.
Does Casey’s story sound familiar?
If your relationship has suddenly ended after an unexpected pregnancy, it can feel as if the air has been knocked out of you as you struggle to come to terms with what your future will look like. A future so different from the one you’d imagined…
Losing somebody you love can be a very painful experience. You might feel a wide range of emotions – betrayal, abandonment, fear, anger, resentment and hurt. You may even feel physically unwell as you work through these big feelings. The emotions you’re experiencing are often described as ‘grief’ when you have lost somebody that was very special to you.
While it’s a time of high emotions that feel like they might never end, grief is a natural part of letting go.
Pregnancy hormones can add to this, making you feel like you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster – okay one minute, sobbing the next. If that’s how you’re feeling, just know that these big emotional waves you’re feeling won’t last forever.
There are 5 common stages in grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. As time passes, you might notice your feelings change as you move through this cycle.
Grief can sometimes be overwhelming. You might find that you might wake up feeling more positive, only to find a fresh wave of sadness wash over you soon after. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try and take a deep breath and let those big feelings pass. Some find it helpful to write out their feelings in a notebook, as a way of letting the feelings pass.
Grief is a process and takes time. Be gentle with yourself and try not to blame yourself for the way things have turned out.
Where to Find Support
Emotional ups and downs after a breakup are completely normal and part of grief, but you don’t have to go through this loss alone. If you’re struggling to cope with grief or feel like you’re unable to let go, it’s important that you speak to somebody who can help you work through those feelings in a safe, judgement-free space. That might be a caring friend or family member or a counsellor.
At Diamond Women’s Support, we have helped many women just like you. Our counsellors provide a safe space for you to talk through your feelings, allowing you to feel heard and understood with empathy and love. If you’ve not yet decided how to proceed with your pregnancy, we can talk through your options and provide any information you need to make an empowered choice.
If you have decided to proceed with your pregnancy, it’s important that you find the help you’re going to need as a single parent. At Diamond Women’s Support, our goal is to connect you with whatever support you need to be a happy, healthy woman and mother. Some of the ways we help include:
- Accessing financial assistance
- Finding childcare support
- Baby and maternity goods
- Free Counselling
- Mum & Baby group
If you’ve experienced a breakup and you’re struggling with any of these hard, heavy emotions, we want you to know you’re not alone. Our Diamond Women’s Support counsellors would love to help you work through your feelings and heal from the pain of losing somebody you love. We’ll make a space for you that feels safe, welcoming and completely free of judgement. If you’re not sure about your pregnancy options, we’ll give you the information and support you need to make a decision that’s right for you.
We’re waiting for you, beautiful. Click here to book now